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Archive for the ‘Politics’ Category

Howdy friends and neighbors, well let’s talk some ag markets for a spell.  Commodity prices are all pretty good at the present time.  As I write this column, we have $7 wheat, $5 corn, $12 soy beans, $1.40 cotton, $80 crude, $4 natural gas (not so hot) and $110 hay.  But in what I handle the most, beef cattle; we have $1.50 four weights, $1.20 feeders and $1.04 fats!  That’s record high!  Cotton, feeder and fat cattle are currently at all-time record highs on the futures board.  Now, that’s a stimulus plan!!!!! (more…)

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Howdy friends and neighbors.  Welcome back sports and politics fan.  It’s a beautiful day for an election as we return after a brief TV time-out.  We’re all knotted up here in the 4th quarter and the democrat donkeys have the ball on the 2 yard line with goal to go.  The main string for the rumbling elephants is beat-up and severely bruised from the 1st quarter action when Bama mama ran the opening kickoff in for a touchdown and two point conversion.  But late in the game it’s been the rookies from the Tea bagger farm team that have held up in the trenches.

 Okay they’re getting set as the donkey’s line up on the republican 2 yard line, 1st and goal to go, as a result of ramming Bama care right down the elephant’s throats.  It’s sister Pelosi wide left. Boxer even further left.  Bama is under tele-prompter.  It’s a given he’s under center because he banned the shotgun.  Two backs set… well I think they’re set.  Reid and Barney Frank are awful close in the back field.  It’s the mule tail formation.  Cap and trade lined up just barely to the right.

 “Yeah, Hat, Cap and Trade have been man handling McCain and Graham all night.”  

 The elephants have a fresh line of tea baggers digging their heals in. 

 “Hat, the American fans are creating a lot of noise in this south end zone and Bama can’t call an audible amongst this chaos.  Back to you Hat.”

 Cap and Trade run off the field as Economy and Jobs run on.

 Here we go. Out of the mule, Bama gives a hard count trying to pull the tea baggers off-sides but no dice.  Ball is snapped, Bama looks right but Economy has stumbled, he pump fakes to Pelosi as he retreats back to the left. Palin has run over her own teammate McCain and is hot on Bama’s trail.  The pocket is collapsing as he scrambles left.  Frank and Reid are still in the back field arguing.  It’s a Presidential keeper as Bama breaks from the protection of Tele-prompter.  He’s at the 8, the 5 , THE 3, 2, 1!  It’s a huge pile at the one as Bama is still on his feet.  Oh, Oh the ball is stripped!  FUMBLE!  Ball on the ground and it seems no Dems want to fall on it!

 The Tea baggers come up with it!  They have blockers.  Fox and National Review out front.  The 10, the 20, room to run.  Oh, he almost gets tripped by the Senate.  The 40, the 50.  One man to beat.  It’s a huge collision mid field as the Tea Bagger was finally brought down by the Media.

 Oh my. The Donkeys had the ball on the Elephant 2 yard line, first down and goal to go and fumbled big time. 

 “Yeah Hat, I think all that crowd noise may have had something to do with it.” 

 Bama has already left the stadium.   Word from the sideline is that he is headed to Disneyland. 

 Oh check that.  He’s headed to India to see the festival of lights????!!! 

 “That’s right Hat, took $2 billion, Jobs and the economy with him.”  

 But the game’s not over?  We still have most of the 4th quarter left.

  Well the Republicans, now have it first and 10 from mid field as John Boehner takes over as quarter back.  Whew! What a game.

  I’m Monte the “Hat” sports announcer Tucker, and that’s it. 

 And who would have thought that OSU would upset Baylor for the number one spot in the Big 12 South??!!       

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Howdy friends and neighbors.  So who do I vote for in Oklahoma’s governor’s race?   Jari or Mary?  That’s the question.  Democrat or republican, liberal or conservative, blond or blond, I think.  Well, let’s just look at what’s going on around my place this year and see which way I should vote.

Oh, it’s been a good year for Tucker Cattle Company this past year.  We had wheat pasture last spring and the price of feeder cattle got close to a record high.  The wheat market rallied in the summer to a respectable level and we got just enough rain to make a hay crop and grow some grass.  I’m pretty sure neither the D’s nor R’s had anything to do with cattle or wheat markets or the fact that it rained.  So what’s next? (more…)

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Howdy friends and neighbors, I’m in a dealing mood!  Let’s make a deal.  This has been an extremely good year for wild sand plumbs.  I will give a fully-guided sand plumb hunt including buckets, 4-wheelers, Deep Woods Off and Neosporin in return for some sand plumb jelly.  Yep, for the low price of one out of every eight jars you put up I will take you right to the heart of sand plumb utopia.  Sound good?

And next I will consult with my election forecasting eleven-year-old cow dog “Pepper the Wonder Dog” to tell you who the winners will be in the primary election.  Oh it’s true that not only can Pepper lay under stock trailers and create confusion among the bovines as I try to inspire them to load up or bark at commercial jet planes cruising at 30,000 feet at 2:30 AM or herd barn cats away from his dinner bowl, but yes he has a gift of predicting election outcomes just a few days before the big day.  Now where is his scooby snack? (more…)

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Howdy friends and neighbors. Last week at the end of my political rant I said, “Now back to cows and plows.”  But, I just have one more thing to add.

 Can we taxpaying Americans get some of that drilling mud and concrete and then borrow that 700 ton cement dome from BP and start using it on congress to try to slow down all the barrels of money that spewing from Washington D.C.????  Where’s the great Red Adair and Boots and Coots with their barrel full of dynamite when we need ‘em? (more…)

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Howdy friends and neighbors.  What in the wide, wide world of politics is going on here?!   Boy, it’s been a long time since I let loose on politics and I’m ready to warm it up!  Give ‘em both barrels, turn the cat out of the bag, stir up the wasp nest and/or step on some feet!

 First, partisan politics on a local or county level has to be one of the most frustrating parts of the whole messed up two worthless-party system.  I have been a resident of Roger Mills County, Oklahoma for 11 years now and I have never been able to vote for either candidate for county commissioner, county assessor or county clerk!  Just a couple of years ago I finally got to vote for my State Representative for the first time.  And once again, this summer, I will not be able to vote for either candidate running for county commissioner in my district.  The above mentioned offices have more influence over issues that directly affect me than most other offices but I have no say so in whom I would choose to represent me.  Have you ever heard the phrase “taxation without representation?”   (more…)

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Howdy friends and neighbors.  Well, veterinarians are about to get really busy!  Our non-representing representatives just rammed government health care down our throats!  So, now I guess we can get medical treatment paid for by China at the speed of the post office with the compassion of the IRS and the red tape of the USDOT!  But, I’m not scared, according to all the census ads that are on the radio every other commercial, if I hurry, fill it out and send it in, we can ride on an un-crowded bus through our new tunnel, over a new bridge with extra traffic lights around the new school on our way to the poor house…  Makes me wonder just what Will Rogers would say about all this? (more…)

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