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 Howdy friends and neighbors.  I am putting all on notice that I am officially converting to organic farming!  I was out the other day looking across my post-harvested wheat fields assessing the weed situation when I noticed that I’m not going to have to spray weed killer.  The grasshoppers have defoliated, in an eco-friendly way, about all of the weeds that were invading my cropland!  But wait, there’s more!  The ground was covered with what I assume is grasshopper manure!  Unbelievable!  A neighbor of mine, lets call him Jack, made a statement a few years ago that he had grasshoppers with those little miner’s helmets with the light on them because there were so many grasshoppers that they had to work in shifts.  I’m thinking that I may need to go out at night and investigate. (more…)

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NORM!

      Howdy Friends and Neighbors:  Some of my favorite phrases come from the character, “Norm,” on the TV show “Cheers.”  As he entered the bar, everyone in the place would yell his name and then someone would always ask him a question, and he always had the best replies.  My favorite is the one where the bartender “Sam” asked the simple small talk question, “What’s up Norm?”  And his response is ever so true today.  He simply responded, “The cost of living!”   I find myself saying the same thing every time someone asks me the very same question.  Norm had a bunch of good comebacks for his grand entry into the tavern.  Another favorite of mine was when Coach asked, “What’s it like out there?”  Norm’s answer, “It’s a dog-eat-dog world and I’m wearing milk-bone underwear!”  Another one: “Hey Norm, how’s the world been treating you?”  I love this one… Norm: “Like a baby treats a diaper!”  And if you know how big I am, you’ll like this one as much as I do.  “Whatcha up to Norm?”  “My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall!”   (more…)

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Red Hams

Howdy friends and neighbors.  Man, did I stir the pot last week with my attendance to the PACCS (prairie dogs, armadillos, cows, chickens and skunks) meeting where heated discussion over our endorsement for the Democratic nominee took place.  My e-mail line was glowing red-hot as it maxed out on wattage from opinions that came in from across the plains like tumbleweeds into a five-wire fence on a breezy day.  Of course, the range of discussion was about as wide as it was shallow.  But, I do have to say that the porcine group caught my attention with their threats to protest and promise to cause total disruption at our final meeting at the Elks Lodge in Arnett, Oklahoma.  The swine group has a severe case of the “red ham” and their tails have gone straight over the fact that their 27 delegates won’t have a say in the endorsement process.  (more…)

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