Archive for December, 2010

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the shed

Not a creature was stirring,

Except for ol’ #11, bred heifer

With a white streak on her forehead.


She was restless and stirring as I headed off to bed

With visions of her licking a new baby bull calf in about an hour dancing in my head.

My wife was already sacked out as I made my way into the house.

Got my hot shower, then a bowl of ice cream as I dreamt of a ski trip to Taos.


When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, the cow dogs were just having their nightly chat with the coyotes about stuff that just doesn’t matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash. 

Yep, it’s been an hour and a half.

Better check #11 and get back to my warm bed in a dash.


When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a couple of miniature feet sticking out of her posterior.

#11 was on her side and pushing with all she was worth.

She just seemed to get nowhere so I rolled up the sleeve on my shirt.


I grabbed her tail and as dry leaves before a wild hurricane fly,

She jumped to her feet, cornered me in the back of the shed, then blew snot on me as she hooked and ran by.

She jumped over the gate and headed to the front pasture which was brushy and big.

I gathered the lariat rope, ob sleeves, the chains, a flashlight and jumped in my feeding rig.


On Cummins, on bale spikes, on big mud grips!

On high beams, on siren, and white caker that trips!

To the back canyon, to the plumb bushes and on to the flood control dam!

Dash on, dash on, we lost our hi-lift jack, post driver and truly tested the Ram!


Then… I saw the twinkling of #11’s eyes, as she held up behind a cedar in some sumac.

I gunned the diesel engine as she turned and mounted her final attack.

Her hooves came a pounding as she head butted my driver’s side door.

But call it Christmas luck, I got the lariat rope on her neck, dallied to the gear shift and put her on the floor.


Feed truck LS gave her a good pull and a tug, as I was still gloating over my midnight roping nab.

But as the slack drew up, my driver’s side door came off and #11 jumped into the cab!

Somehow I and the dog managed a miracle escape through the passenger window.

#11 now had full possession of my wheels; the Farm Bureau man would never believe this unusual show.


She was chubby and plump, not jolly at all.

As she kicked the feed truck outta gear and brought it to a stall.

I noticed she was caught like in a new hydraulic chute.

Her rear feet up under herself, with her newborn’s little nose sticking out. And then the radio went mute.


I spoke not a word, but went straight to my work.

OB chain around one foot, then two feet and a push, and here came a nose with a jerk!

I cleared the breech as she slapped my nose with her tail.

And a new baby bull calf popped out, while Momma was still somewhat in jail.


I sprang to my feet and cut my new rope with the knife the feed salesman had left behind.

#11 blew the siren, kicked out my glove box and slid out the passenger side.

She paired up and claimed her calf like nothing had ever happened.

I gave her a big smile, threw my driver’s side door on the back, sat down in a heap of slime and my coveralls were dampened.


Back to the house, back to the shower, again, and a good night’s rest.

But first, I noticed under the Christmas tree presents piled up like a big nest.

Santa Claus had been there, I was so glad to see he’d been back.

Because under the Christmas tree was a new rope, gear shift, seat cover, and to my surprise a new hi-lift jack!


Out the window I saw Santa get out of his sleigh

He took #11 a big flake of alfalfa hay.

And I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,

“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!”





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Howdy friends and neighbors, well let’s talk some ag markets for a spell.  Commodity prices are all pretty good at the present time.  As I write this column, we have $7 wheat, $5 corn, $12 soy beans, $1.40 cotton, $80 crude, $4 natural gas (not so hot) and $110 hay.  But in what I handle the most, beef cattle; we have $1.50 four weights, $1.20 feeders and $1.04 fats!  That’s record high!  Cotton, feeder and fat cattle are currently at all-time record highs on the futures board.  Now, that’s a stimulus plan!!!!! (more…)

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