Howdy friends and neighbors. What in the wide, wide world of sports is going on here?! Something must be out of kilter. Is kilter a word? Ha, I just looked it up in my 1972 Webster’s Dictionary and it is indeed a word. It means “good condition: order.” So back to my original thought, something is out of kilter. Mars must be spinning backwards while Venus and Mercury are sitting on top of each other. The salmon must be swimming sideways and the geese are headed west for the winter. The beavers are digging drainage canals and politicians are telling the whole truth!
This is just totally unbelievable! Okay, take note of all the weird things that have happened this past week. First, the Texas Rangers are headed to a World Series. That is the first time in franchise history that the Rangers are doing that. Next, we got four inches of rain at Sunny Point, Oklahoma! Oh, it was a wonderful rain as it came just right and there were not many wash outs. Then, the #1 OU Sooners got whipped by Missouri after Alabama and Ohio which were number ones went down. But wait, there’s more. The mighty Texas Shorthorns took a rear kicking at home from Iowa State!!
Here’s one that will raise an eyebrow. With all the odd stuff happening in the Big 12, Baylor is on top! No typo, the Baylor bears are leading the Big 12 in football at 3-1 in conference. That’s truly amazing.
But it doesn’t stop there. At one point I was able to use my mobile phone as a phone and it worked the whole conversation. Beef packer buyers offered more for fat cattle than the feedlots were asking!!!!! Feedlots were asking $97 – $98 and packers offered up $102.50….. That’s like trying to sell your car for $2000 and someone walks up, looks at your price and says, “well, I will give you $3000 instead!” The zodiac signs wouldn’t even attempt to predict that one.
Let me put it another way. It’s like planning a trip to the most popular mall on black Friday and being prepared to walk a half marathon to just get to the outer limits of the parking lot but when you arrive there are ten open parking spaces directly in front of the door you needed.
For you deer hunters, it’s like going out thinking to yourself how nice it would be to harvest a small deer for good eating and the Hartford himself, I’m talking the deer that looks like it has a 30 row cultivator turned upside-down on his head, score a 48,000 Boone and Crocket monster, walks out 30 yards from you and falls over from a heart attack when you reach for your gun.
There’s lots of weird stuff going on. I’m afraid to turn on the news because the headliner might be that democraps and reprobates have met, set down, and balanced the federal budget! Or, or I might actually get to where I’m supposed be on time tomorrow (my wife says no matter how weird it gets, that will never happen!)
I’m Monte Tucker, and that is what’s under my hat. You know, it all started when my hired man said he actually had a real live date!
