Howdy friends and neighbors. Where does a guy start? I don’t know if I should start by saying, “welcome to the United Social States of America,” or just wonder what can congress do next? To keep some sanity this past week I looked back about 80 years to see what Will Rogers would say. Surprisingly, just about every one of his quotes apply to today and they fit the current situation like a pair of leather gloves after hauling a thousand square bales. There are hundreds of quotes, but I’m going to use my favorites. “About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.“ – Will Rogers. Ouch! That could be very true.
So, a week ago, according to DC crowd, the media, and my margin call on corn futures, this nation was in dire need of a bail-out bill to save us from recession, depression, squirrels taking over bird feeders, grapes of wrath, locusts, bird flu, credit melt-down, lump jaw, army worms, bank failures, colic, and baler twin on drive shafts. So, the best and brightest leaders of the nation huddled-up on capital hill and emerged with a life saving bucket of lard! There are more earmarks in this “must have bill” than a 6000 head farrow-to-finish swine operation run by an ambidextrous, over-achieving, ear-notcher.
What, you ask? Oh, lets see. New tax earmarks in bailout bill, Film and Television Productions (Sec. 502), Wooden Arrows designed for use by children (Sec. 503), 6-page package of earmarks for litigants in the 1989 Exxon Valdez incident, Alaska (Sec. 504). Tax earmark “extenders” in the bailout bill. Virgin Island and Puerto Rican Rum (Section 308), American Samoa (Sec. 309), Mine Rescue Teams (Sec. 310), Mine Safety Equipment (Sec. 311), Domestic Production Activities in Puerto Rico (Sec. 312), Indian Tribes (Sec. 314, 315), Railroads (Sec. 316), Auto Racing Tracks (317), District of Columbia (Sec. 322), Wool Research (Sec. 325). And Friday afternoon, the markets were down. Way to go congress! I don’t know about you, but I’m so mad that I could cut 65 feet of 26 gauge bent tin with a circular saw. Back to Will Rogers to help me through this. “If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?” – Will Rogers Maybe there is hope.
We the taxpayers just got about a TRILLION DOLLARS more in the hole. Help me here Will. “Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.” – Will Rogers
As I heard the news that once again congress and the administration saved the day, I took notice of the signs of hard times across this great land. Man, times are tough out in California. Folks out there don’t have anywhere to sit except at the baseball stadium. There wasn’t an empty seat there. Those poor folks had to use their Blackberries, I-Phones, and Razors to call, text or e-mail other poor folks to see if they had anything to eat. Saturday, the great second depression had made it to Oklahoma. Poverty stricken people lined up at “Once a Boom” stadium to see if the WPA had any work available. Then Sunday, Talladega SpeedWay and all the pro football teams had to give tickets away so folks would have something to do. Me, I spent the weekend shredding credit-card offers sent to my wife, my four-year old, my cow dog, the gold fish that just hatched in the stock tank and me.
Will Rogers made a comment once that America was the only nation that could go to the poor house in an automobile. It seems that I need to modernize it. America is the only nation that can go to the poor house via direct satellite, turn-by-turn navigation while in constant voice contact on wireless two-way communications in an eco-friendly, hydrogen powered hybrid SUV with a Blu-ray, HD, plasma, on-board entertainment center. I’m so thankful we have “In God We Trust” on our money and NOT “In Congress” we trust.
I’m Monte Tucker, And that is what’s under my “Thanks to Will Rogers” Hat!
“Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.” - Will Rogers
