Looney Tunes

Howdy friends and neighbors.  Someone call Al Gore and tell him that his global warming cure has worked.  I’m looking at the calendar and it shows we are in the middle of August but the thermometer at 4 o’clock in the afternoon has reached it’s high of the day at 68º F and it has been raining!  Thanks Al, you can go to China now where people have to wear gas masks to walk around outside.  Take Harry Reid and sister Pelosi with you.  In just a few short years, I bet those three amigos would have China believing they are doomed and have them regulated into recession.

 

Can anyone out there tell me where I can find Bugs Bunny and the Road Runner on the twenty-seven thousand channels I receive?  My son and I were stretched back in the recliner last Saturday morning, and there wasn’t a cartoon one to be found.  It was raining and I thought my soon-to-be four year old and I would see if we could find a channel with merry melodies on to watch if Wile E. Coyote and his latest Acme do-it-yourself kit had caught that Roadrunner yet.  Not only could we not find the Roadrunner, we couldn’t even find a trace of Bugs Bunny. Now, in the past I have wrote about some pressing issue with this country and this state, but none are as dire as the need for kids nowadays to learn the phrase, “Eh, What’s up doc?” or that an anvil that fell from a mile high cliff and landed on your head will cause you to walk like an accordion until the next scene.  No wonder test scores on standardized tests are falling and the OEA has to run a petition to tax property owners a bazillion dollars.  No one is talking about the root of the problem and that is the lack of Loony Tunes!

 

Early on in my childhood I learned basic survival skills from Yosemite Sam and Elmer Fudd like hunting, horse riding, and fit throwing.  Kids today have no clue what a “flea-bitten varmint,” or a, “confounded, long-eared galute,” is.  (Those of us that grew up with this knowledge know we can now find them on CNN.)  Nor do they know the first thing that you have to say on a hunting trip is, “Shhh, we’re hunting wabbits.”

 

Does Porky Pig just totally defy political correctness today?  Here is a slow, overweight cartoon swine with a speech impediment.  But Daffy Duck always managed to plant a big kiss on his bald head.  And talk about green transportation, Bugs had no carbon footprint as he traveled and tunneled the globe and seem to get lost somewhere outside of Albuquerque.  Of course, there was Speedy Gonzales, the fastest mouse in all of ol’ Mexico.  He was a true international hero.  I learned to romance women from Pepe Le Pew and solve problems from the Tasmanian Devil.  And yes, there is life outside of earth, Marvin the Martian and that broom that stuck out of his helmet.

 

My favorite had to be Fog Horn Leghorn.  You know, the big white rooster with a bit of redneck in him.  He was a true ladies man and seemed to have the funniest tricks to pull on the dog.  That’s where I learned to pay attention.  “I say, now boy, I say you gotta, pay attention to me boy, I say.”  And I learned ambition from the little chicken hawk.  That little guy always went after the biggest chicken in the yard, Fog Horn, and he never gave up.

 

Neither did that coyote.  Kids today would learn a lot by watching that dumb varmint because he never gives up.   Failure is a part of his life as well as Yosemite Sam’s, Porky Pig’s, Daffy Duck’s, Sylvester the cat’s and even Bug’s.   Loony Tunes was and if I could find them, still the best.  Am I the only one out there that seemed to root for the coyote to catch that bird?  Did you go outside and try to figure out how to attach rockets to your skates?

 

Wile E., you’re the reason I’m not afraid to try, try and try again.  Yep, I went splat and walked like an accordion a couple of times.  People laughed at me, but while I was on the bottom, I already had a plan to go again.   Thanks Bugs, Fog Horn, Yosemite, Porky, Daffy, Sylvester, Tweety, Road Runner, Elmer, Speedy, Marvin, Pepe, Taz, Chicken Hawk, and Wile E.  Man, kids today need these guys.

 

I’m Monte Tucker, and abbaa, dabbdddaa, that’s all folks.