No News is Good News

Howdy friends and neighbors.  For a guy like me that tries really hard not to watch or listen to any state or national news, it’s nearly impossible to do!  At times there is no way I can get to the radio dial quick enough to keep the media garbage out of my ears so I occasionally hear what the bobble head media thinks is news.  It makes me want reach through the radio and choke them!

Guns

Howdy friends and neighbors.  Boy, just about the time I think no one reads this mess I get all kinds of e-mails and questions about something.  Last week I wrote about “frost flowers,” and now everyone wants to know, “What are they?”  “What do they look like?”  “Where do you see them?”  Well, it’s hard to explain.  I even “Googled” it but found a different plant.  What’ I’m calling a frost flower is just a weed.  It grows about two feet tall from a single point that branches out to several.  It has dark green slick looking leaves.  In late summer a white ball-like flower blooms on the very top.  That’s about the best I can do.  I will try to post a picture of one on my Facebook page and web site soon.  I want to add a big thank you to my new favorite fan, Donna, for the jars of sand plum jelly, MMMmmm Good!

Several years back a good friend sold me a gun cabinet as he was moving and didn’t have room for it in his new house.  On the front of the cabinet, he had taped a magazine clipping.  I never have removed that clipping and stopped to read it again the other day.  I just love it and want to share it with you.  So, here it is. The last one is my favorite.

Water

Howdy friends and neighbors, get ready for cooler weather!  What?!  Yep, I saw a frost flower last week so that means we are 60 days from our first frost of the year.  60 days from when I spotted it puts us at the first week of October.  Last year I was accurate to within a week, but the temperature just got to 33.6 degrees F, it was timed just right but was off 1.6 degrees.  Two years ago it hit on the nose.  Ha, if anything it’s gives me something to write about.

 Oh we had a fun evening this past Sunday.  Our sweet corn was finally ready.  We had fresh okra, squash, tomatoes, cantaloupe and sweet corn right out of our garden.  Plus a rib eye from one of our home raised calves.  MMMM GOOOOD!  Butter dripping off the corn, fried squash and okra, red vine-ripe tomatoes and a super tender rib eye!  Oh shut ya mouth…

 And of course it was all natural.  Well, none of it was un-natural.  

Pepper the Wonder Dog Predicts the Primary Election!

Howdy friends and neighbors, I’m in a dealing mood!  Let’s make a deal.  This has been an extremely good year for wild sand plumbs.  I will give a fully-guided sand plumb hunt including buckets, 4-wheelers, Deep Woods Off and Neosporin in return for some sand plumb jelly.  Yep, for the low price of one out of every eight jars you put up I will take you right to the heart of sand plumb utopia.  Sound good?

And next I will consult with my election forecasting eleven-year-old cow dog “Pepper the Wonder Dog” to tell you who the winners will be in the primary election.  Oh it’s true that not only can Pepper lay under stock trailers and create confusion among the bovines as I try to inspire them to load up or bark at commercial jet planes cruising at 30,000 feet at 2:30 AM or herd barn cats away from his dinner bowl, but yes he has a gift of predicting election outcomes just a few days before the big day.  Now where is his scooby snack?

Lovin’ the trip through nowhere

Howdy friends and neighbors, Summer time!  I kinda have to laugh a little every time I hear a news report about it being hot.  Yeah… it’s July in Oklahoma.  I think it is supposed to be hot.  I do still remember an ice storm back in January and wishing for some of that July heat.

 Well I have been away from my computer the past several weeks as the Fourth of July rolled by and then my family and I went on a vacation.  The Tuckers and an RV headed north.  We planned this adventure for a while so we could attend a family reunion of my wife’s mother’s family in Spiritwood, North Dakota.  OK, I can hear the snickers and remarks already about why in the world anyone would take a vacation to go to a family reunion in North Dakota.  On the contrary, it was right down my ally!  I looked at a map and to get from Sunny Point, OK, to Spiritwod, ND I got to drive through the heartland of the US.  No interstates, no huge cities, nothing but open country and I loved it!  Well, there was the fact that we were going to be living for ten days in a 29ft rented RV that we named “Daisy.”  I have never traveled in an RV before, excuse me, a “coach” before, so I packed everything I thought I would need in a worst case scenario.  Now, I’m a big boy, so first I packed three grills: gas, electric, and charcoal. My wife packed plenty of red meat and taters.  I packed all the portable chairs plus I had a table.

 I then packed all the tools that I could fit into a plastic tub: a lug wrench, bottle jack, crescent, 8 feet of baling wire, hammer, pipe wrench, socket set, wire strippers, screwdrivers, pry bars, log chain, allen wrenches, wheel chocks, 20 feet of rope, extension cords, garden hoses and most importantly a good pair of CeeTee pliers!  Then we threw in a 12 gauge and some fishing poles.  Hey, I would rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it!  We filled every compartment with something.  Put $128.29 worth of 87 octane in and pointed Daisy north.  She blazed a trail with all 10 cylinders and ran like champ.

 Beautiful country!  We traveled through farm land, ranch land, State parks, grass lands, wild life preserves and lots of small towns.  My wife and I liked best the sand hills of Nebraska between McCook and Valentine.  They have had lots of rain this year and the grass was belly deep and the water was clear blue.  But the best part about it, there was no one in our way!  No traffic at all!

We had a great time at the family reunion as well.  It was laid back with tons of food and great company.  Spritwood is a lot like Sunny Point except its farther north and about 4 times as big.  From there we filled up Daisy again with gas (this happened a lot) and headed for the Black Hills of South Dakota.   WOW! I never knew what that area was like.  It’s beautiful there and there are lots of fun things to do but way too many people for me.  Oh yeah, we saw Mt. Rushmore and no they haven’t started Barry’s face yet.  (I just had to throw that in didn’t I…?)

 Well, Daisy got us back home without a hitch so none of the tolls I packed ever saw daylight except for my trusty CeeTee pliers.  It was lots of fun and we have lots of good memories to remember.

 My final point is that I’m so blessed to be able to take such a trip.  I am so blessed to live in a nation that allows me to do so.  I know I’m weird because I enjoyed seeing beauty in land that many think is torture to pass through.  I was looking for that wide open nothingness and finding the beauty in it instead of complaining about it!

 I’m Monte Tucker and that is what’s under my hat.

Roll Pin

Howdy friends and neighbors. Last week at the end of my political rant I said, “Now back to cows and plows.”  But, I just have one more thing to add.

 Can we taxpaying Americans get some of that drilling mud and concrete and then borrow that 700 ton cement dome from BP and start using it on congress to try to slow down all the barrels of money that spewing from Washington D.C.????  Where’s the great Red Adair and Boots and Coots with their barrel full of dynamite when we need ‘em?

Politics

Howdy friends and neighbors.  What in the wide, wide world of politics is going on here?!   Boy, it’s been a long time since I let loose on politics and I’m ready to warm it up!  Give ‘em both barrels, turn the cat out of the bag, stir up the wasp nest and/or step on some feet!

 First, partisan politics on a local or county level has to be one of the most frustrating parts of the whole messed up two worthless-party system.  I have been a resident of Roger Mills County, Oklahoma for 11 years now and I have never been able to vote for either candidate for county commissioner, county assessor or county clerk!  Just a couple of years ago I finally got to vote for my State Representative for the first time.  And once again, this summer, I will not be able to vote for either candidate running for county commissioner in my district.  The above mentioned offices have more influence over issues that directly affect me than most other offices but I have no say so in whom I would choose to represent me.  Have you ever heard the phrase “taxation without representation?”  

Wheat Harvest 2010

 In honor of all the harvest crews bringing in the 2010 crop, here’s a column I wrote a few years ago just for you.

 Howdy friends and neighbors.  Look out! No, it’s not the Hillary express!  It’s a loaded wheat truck headed for town.  Wheat harvest is in full swing in Western Oklahoma as combines eat their way through the crop.

 Have you ever stopped to notice all the colors of harvest?   I mean there are more different shades of colors of trucks, tractors, combines, grain carts, service trucks, fuel tanks, ice chests, and cell phone cases.  The array of earth tones and contemporary blends encompassing the spectrum of light reflection would make the make-up artist that is in charge of the local Miss Main Street contest green with envy.   Next time you’re out and about, just take a second and look for the rainbow of harvest implements and support gear.

Memorial Day

Howdy friends and neighbors.  My five year old son and I stayed up late the other night watching Star Wars.  It’s hard to believe but the channel we were watching announced that this week was the thirty year anniversary of Star Wars!  Mason got into it pretty good.  I hadn’t watched any of them in a long while as well.  As he and I sat in my easy chair rooting for the “force’’ it hit me that thirty years ago, I was five!  Well, I just dated myself.  I still think Star Wars is one of the best movies.  I see and feel the effects of the episodes daily.  Every time I use a cell phone I find myself saying as the “No G” signal fades away, “the force is not strong today.”   “Come in Obi Wan Kenobi, come in, oh the force is weakening!”  Wow, thirty years of Stars Wars!

 With Memorial Day just around the corner I want to remind you to be sure and grill lots of beef this weekend and remember that Veterans made it possible for us to freely take a weekend to grill, go to the lake, do some fishing, do some sleeping, or go to a parade and celebrate our armed forces and the ones that gave it all for our way of life.  I hear now and then how bad things are today.  But if you want to think like that then remember it could be a lot worse.  It could be really bad and we could be speaking German or Japanese while being told what to celebrate and how to do it!

 Thank you past and present Veterans!  I thank you so much for the ability to freely be a long winded cowboy in western Oklahoma who can sit in an easy chair and watch Star Wars with my boy! 

 I’m Monte Tucker, and hats off to you who serve this great nation!

Storm Chasers

Howdy friends and neighbors.  After much consideration, I have fully evaluated my risk portfolio and determined that I need to take fewer chances in life.  In doing so I have decided to quit feeding cattle in a commercial feedlot and turning stocker cattle out on wheat and grass.  I’m going to chase tornadoes instead.  I know, I know I’m such a pansy but the risk of having cattle on feed or on pasture just seemed too great and the laid back life style of a storm chaser seemed to be the easy street I was looking for!  Yep, I’m gonna sell my tractor, plows and cake feeder and invest in one of those armored cars with an anemometer on top so I can sit back, relax and cruise into 250 mph winds with softball size hail and tree stumps the size of VW bugs flying all around.  Oh, just the thought of leaving the Chicago Board of Trade, cattle slides, shrink, parts counters, post drivers and margin calls for super cell thunderstorms, dry lines and wind shear is like having my toes in the white beach sands and Jimmy Buffet’s Cheese Burgers in Paradise softly playing in the background.   Goodbye sorting gates! Hello hook echo and debris!